Why I couldn't join the military...

Here's a couple reasons why I would probably never consider joining the military...

Mind you I'm all for equality and whatnot (for others), but just speaking for myself, I probably might not be able to help myself with the wandering eye were I to end up sharing a bunk with any of these guys. Not that I'm really *that* boy crazy in real life...

...but I do unfortunately have a thing for alpha-male types... Not a great idea if you're in the military to say the least ...

And this might just be a fantasy running somewhere at the back of my mind... Ah yes, if only ...